Its hard to believe that I was once this victim!!
The journey definitely has not been easy trying to get out of the "pit of hell". How does one cope dealing with the fact that your loved one (in my case my husband) is enslaved to drugs and as a result has become psychotic. In my own strength I tried everything!! - My husband's psychosis made him believe that I was having affairs (with almost every man on the planet) so......I shaved my hair, I tried to get fatter, isolated myself as much as possible from the social scene, I quit my job immediately (I was also the only one working), I tried making myself less significant compared to him (he was very insecure & possessive). Needless to say, I was an emotional wreck and only had my immediate family for support, however they were in a similar state as myself. All my dreams & aspirations had vanished and all I had was memories of what once was - a loving, passionate husband & father - and all I could hold on to was my pain and my anguish. I tried to help him - we went for marraige counselling, family counselling, various substance abuse programmes, until eventually he was admitted to a psychiatric institution. I had nothing more to hold on to, even though we have a daughter who, at the time, was only 4 years old. So I resorted to suicide. No, I did not really want to die - I was hoping that he would see how much I was hurting. He could not see - he loved his drugs more. I, on the other hand was a complete co-dependent, I lived in an unreal world of "what if" and "once before". I crashed..... After nearly four years of living like this I reached out as far as I could imagine and exposed my situation publicly by writing to the newspaper in the hopes of being heard and ultimately to get help for my husband.

.................. to be continued.